Hey, 

this is my first blog ever. I've thought about whether or not I should start writing a blog for a while now. And since I really need to make some changes in my life, I decided to start a blog and see if I can get some new perspective on my life this way.

I've read a lot about how writing helps you deal with your life, solve problems, get you thinking about what you really want and need. And I've had my share of writing in diaries about my life, about my problems, about the happy and unhappy times etc. And I've done it for a while, but then I just stopped. Life and problems were either too hard that I just didn't have the energy or desire to write about them, or things got back to normal and again, I thought it wouldn't make any sense to write about something that is completely normal and ordinary. So I would just stop. And now when I look back and think about it, I just feel sorry for not being more consistent and finish what I've started. But I obviously seem to have a problem with sticking to any kind of a project for a long time or until finished successfully. I always give up too fast. 

I've been trying to lose weight, work on my self-esteem, find out who I am and who I want to be for so many times that I don't even count them anymore. Because I know that I won't pull it through. Yet another time. And I get more frustrated, depressed, sad, unhappy which leads to eating more food in general, not just junk, I tend to overeat on all kind of food, the healthy versions as well as the unhealthy ones. It just kills me that I can't get it together and start living the life I know deep inside I deserve. I keep punishing myself and I don't know for what. I keep sabotaging myself and I don't know why. What am I so afraid of? 

I don't have any answers to the above questions. And that's the reason, or one of the reasons, why I started this new project - writing a blog. And tomorrow I'm gonna start with The 31 Days of Loving Yourself Thin program at the Fit Shack (http://www.thefitshack.com/2007/10/01/31-days-of-loving-yourself-thin/). I will do everything in my power to follow the program and see what happens. With hard work and dedication I know I can do it. I just have to get over myself and stop making excuses already. 

So, tomorrow's a new day...